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Ego Trips

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  The ego gives us a rigid sense of self and wants others to perceive us a certain way. The ego struggles to appreciate differences in opinions and views. One common cause of inner conflict is when someone close to us is making choices that we would not make ourselves. Our initial impulse is to want them to think and act like us . Yung Pueblo  This definition of ego  by Yung Pueblo resonated with me deeply  - Confessions on the Journey - this is how my ego shows up especially in intimate relationships! Seeing this here is a game changer for me to: 1. Let go of rigidity. 2. Let of of the perception that people MUST be a certain way. 3. Appreciate differences and be curious about them. 4. Let others make their choices and I make mine. 5. Stop looking to convince others that there is only the one way I chose to be, act, do, think. I recognize that this change will take not just a shift in mindset, but also a consistent recognition of the how I show up with intention and flexibility. A pra
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A new perspective on Life's Tests

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  All the hard conversations, boundaries, and self-reflection will keep challenging you because you're not quite sure how to do it all yet! And as you do it more and more, it will get easier because you will get stronger! You will build the skills! You just gotta keep going. You gotta keep choosing ! Mark Groves  I was listening to on of my favorite spoken word artist - The Floacist. She was giving her take on "life's tests" and similarly to Iyanla Vazant, another one of the wise teachers that I learn from, she was of the view that we cannot fail.  Each time a "test" comes we gain some knowledge and it adds up, is useful and can be used for the next life "test". We don't lose the "points" and have to start from zero. We also have a lifetime in which to learn and master these lessons. I resonated with this perspective because it suggests that returning tests, not only can I handle it, once I pay attention, I have an opportunity to use
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Shadows

Shadow work is designed to help you integrate and accept every single part of yourself so that you can live and thrive with more clarity and authenticity. Elizabeth Perry    I was reading today on  the shadow self and what resonated with me was the notion that there are all parts of us that we either are not too fond of or that we hide because we are not ready to deal with for whatever reason. When we reject parts of ourselves, we cannot be whole, authentic or at peace. When we embrace all part of us we can grow and be at peace. According to Jung, all of us have a shadow self and It is generally made up of the parts of ourselves we deem unacceptable. For many people this means things like our sadness, rage, laziness, and cruelty. But you might also see as uncivilized and unacceptable things like your personal power, your independence, or your emotional sensitivity. According to Andrea M Darcy of the Harley Clinic Although we might want to see our shadow as ‘negative’, this is not true.
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Dear April - Remind Me...

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 There are questions to which answers may not exist. There are answers that just create mire questions, solutions that can only be made from having lived something out, having seen it through - Briana Wiest  April please remind me to look at things differently - to at least be willing to look at every situation from another perspective Different perspectives to "losing": 1. A clearing 2. An answered prayer 3. A rebirth 4. A wake up call 5. A blessing in disguise 6. A portal to something else 7.  A long needed breakthrough 8. A time to surrender 9. A time to accept 10. An opportunity to change course, to course correct 11. A becoming 12. A healing 13. Divine Guidance and protection 14. A second chance 15. Freedom Peace and Blessings Akosua's Books Nyabo (Madam) Why Are You Here? Now What? The Flipside What Did I Learn Today? Lessons on the Journey to Unconditional Self Love
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What Does the Voice of Fear in your head Sound Like?

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How many of us could live in our audacity? How many Black women live with gall? Karen M Rose   I have been reading up on the connection between our health, the thoughts we think and how we live. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt is how fear and anger that has not been expressed finds its way into our bodies and turns into ailments, dis-ease and allergies.  One of the biggest illusions that keep up stuck is fear. If your fear could talk, if your fear had a voice what would it say to you? How would it sound?  It is absolutely essential that we know what our fear sounds like, what our fear tells us.  When fear starts talking ,we can identify the sounds, the words, the phrases  and take the required action rather than listen to it and remain paralyzed. My fear says to me:- 1.You cannot do that! 2. People will laugh at you, talk about you and call you names. 3. You are a fraud. 4. What if you fail? 5. Stay quiet, say nothing, you have nothing to say that can add to this. 6. How dare
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Choose Well - You become a reflection of your consistent actions

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What you do consistently comes to be characteristic of you. Not what you think, feel or even fear, but what you choose. Briana Weist Consistency is a quality that  I consistently work on (pardon the pun) With some self reflection, I realized that I needed consistency growing up in an inconsistent environment which included moving multiple times. Feeling safe around people is also important for me, when those close to me are consistent in their words and deeds.  As an adult, I have made it a point to live a life of consistency and discipline - I feel safe, I feel in control, I feel comfortable. The challenge, as with everything, is when what we do is out of balance and out of alignment. When there is little or no consistency in my life, from people around me - it triggers me (confessions on the Journey). What I have learnt is when I recognize the triggers, there is a choice in how I respond.  I must pause and ask  am I safe? Am I acting out from my childhood wounds? What is the choice
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Sometimes...We Betray Ourselves

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Signs you might be in a pattern of self-betrayal include saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” self-sabotaging, ignoring basic needs and self-care, lying to yourself, not taking accountability for your actions, and pretending to be something other than your authentic self.  Dr Megan Johnson How many of you can relate to this? - A feeling appears deep within our bodies, our gut, that knowing and it is either not making logical sense, it is hard to act on it, making that decision will lead to a drastic change in our lives - and we convince ourselves to ignore, dismiss, deny, justify not taking it seriously. Then one day life puts you in a situation where you cannot ignore the feeling, the change, the decision to be made. It becomes a jolt, maybe even an "emergency" and we say to ourselves" I just knew" or "something told me"  This, I have learnt, is ignoring, denying, dismissing and justifying not acting on that guidance is us betraying ourselves. The less
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